Love Sick Squiggy
by NotofthisworldHDLS
Summary: A lot of people are doing Lavene/Lenny fanfics. I see hardly any fanfics of my favorite charater so I decided to write one! On the show I allways thought that it was sad that Squiggy never had a true love. So in this story he does! My first fanfic.
1. Hello!

(In Lenny and Squiggy's apartment)

*knock knock*

Lenny: Come in!

The door opens and Ms. Babish enters the room

Edna: Hi boys!

Lenny: Is it the rent? Please give us more time! I PROMISE we'll have it by next week, honest!

Squiggy: Yah, honest!

Edna: No boys, it's not the rent, I was wondering if I could ask you guys a favor.

Squiggy: (With a look of suspicion) What kinda favor?

Edna: Well, a new tenant moved in today, and I was wondering, if you can show her around the apartment complex.

Lenny: I don't know, last time a girl moved in here she was... err... unusual.

Squiggy: Oh face it Len she was ugly.

Lenny: I didn't think she looked that bad…

Squiggy: She had a mustache, Len!

Lenny: Well I thought...

Edna: Will you guys help me or not?

Squiggy: Why can't you do it?

Edna: Because I wanted to repaint my apartment today.

Lenny: Well I got to go to the market to buy more Bosco.

Lenny leaves the apartment and goes to the market.

(With big eyes and a puppy dog face) Edna: Please Squiggy

Squiggy: Alright I guess.

Edna: Good, she'll be over in a few minutes.

Squiggy: *sigh*

Edna leaves the room to tell the new tenant to see Squiggy.

***A few minuets later***

*knock, knock*

Squiggy: Come in!

The door opened and there stood a beautiful, but modest women, she had semi-long hair, loosely curled. She had blue eyes, and wore a black skirt that was finger tip length and a feminine purple shirt.

"Hello!" she said

Squiggy stood, shocked, blinked his eyes twice then said

Squiggy: Hello

"Are you Andrew Squiggman?" she said

Squiggy: Huh, oh… yah. But you can call me Squiggy, what's your name?

"Hi Squiggy, nice to meet you, my name is Audrey" said Audrey

Squiggy: Well, I beta show you around huh.

Audrey smiled

Squiggy: Alright, umm let's go see the incinerator first

Audrey: Okay

So they walked to the incinerator, then Squiggy showed her the laundry room.

Squiggy: Alright, so that's 'bout it

Audrey: Thanks a lot, it was very kind of you to show me around.

Squiggy: No problem, uh, if you want I could walk you to your apartment.

Audrey: No, thank you anyway; I'm going to go look for a job.

Audrey: Do you know of any openings?

Squiggy: There's an opening at the brewery, one of the bottle capping girls quit yesterday.

Audrey: Really? That's GREAT..uhh I mean for me. Do you think you could put a good word in for me?

Squiggy: sure

Audrey: thanks!

Audrey kissed Squiggy on the cheek and left to her apartment

Squiggy (love sick) clumsily went to his apartment.

THE NEXT DAY AT THE BREWERY  
(Audrey had gotten the job and it was lunch break)

Squiggy: Len!

Lenny: oh! Hey Squigg!

Squiggy: Lenny I met the most amazing girl! She's the new tenant!

Lenny: No way! Does she have a mustache?

Squiggy: … no, no, she's beautiful! And I'm gonna put the old Squiggman charm on 'er.

Lenny laughed

Lenny: Well, I'm glad for you Squigg!

OVER AT THE NEXT TABLE THERE WERE TWO TOUGH TRUCKDRIVERS FROM THE BREWARY; JOE, AND NICK

Joe: Did you see that hot new girl Audrey?

Nick: Yah, she's been hangin' around Squiggy a lot.

Joe: I don't know why, he's not her type, a pretty, fragile woman like that should be hangin' around me.

Audrey walks in the room

Squiggy: Hi Audrey!

Audrey smiles shyly, and walks toward Squiggy

Audrey: Hi Squiggy! Hi Lenny!  
Lenny: Well I'm gonna leave you two alone.

Lenny smiles, and walks over to Laverne and Shirley's table

Shirley: Isn't it nice that Audrey and Squiggy are getting along so well.

Laverne: A little TOO well.

Lenny: what do you mean?

Laverne: Look.

Laverne pointed at Nick and Joe

Nick, a handsome muscular guy with a height of 6 feet 4 inches, walked over to Squiggy, and towered over Squiggy's 5 foot 3 inch height and small frame

Nick: Hello Audrey, how'd you like to come and sit next to me, instead of hangin' around this squirt.

Audrey gave him a disgusted look

Audrey: Don't call him "squirt" and no thank you, I do not want to sit with you, I want to have lunch with Squiggy.

Squiggy: Go on ova back to your table nick, she don't want you.

Nick then grabbed Squiggy's shirt, and picked him up off the ground. (He was wearing his brewery uniform)

Nick: You're gonna regret that remark, now, convince her to eat with me or you're gonna get this!  
Nick curled his free hand to a fist and out it in front of Squiggy's face, the put his hand back down at his side.

Squiggy: Go ahead and hit me, Andrew Squiggman fears nuttin…'cept darkness. And I ain't gonna give up Audrey!

Audrey smiled for a split second, then got up on her tippy toes (she was about the same height as Squiggy) starred into Nicks face, and gave him an intimidating look. _Where have I seen that look before? _Squiggy thought

Audrey: If you don't put him down right now, you're gonna have a permanent imprint of my fist on your face!

Nick looked extremely shocked

Nick: Alright, alright, calm down.

He reluctantly put Squiggy down. Lunch is over, and everyone started walking out the door and went back to work, Squiggy was the last one in the lunch room, and he began walking out the door.

Audrey: wait!

Squiggy turned around, and Audrey grabbed him and passionately kissed him.

Audrey smiled shyly

Audrey: Thanks for being so brave, not a lot of guys would have done that for me. I'll see you later okay?  
Squiggy: sure

Audrey went back to her bottle capping station, and Squiggy, love dazed and surprised, went back to his job as a truck driver.


	2. Wait what?

AFTER WORK

Lenny and Squiggy are in there apartment

Squiggy: Lenny…I am in love.

Lenny giggled

Lenny: again?

Squiggy: But this time isn't like the other times, this time it's for real!  
Lenny: Well, who's the girl?

Squiggy: Audrey!  
Lenny smiled

Lenny: What caused you to fall in love wit her?

Squiggy: Today, at the brewery, when everyone left to go back to work after lunch, she grabbed me and kissed me.

Lenny got a burst of energy

Lenny: Oh boy! I can't wait to tell the girls!  
Lenny ran to the door, but Squiggy stopped him

Squiggy: No, Len, I only told ya cuz you're my best friend, I mean, were teamsters!  
Lenny: yah, but why don't you wanna tell the girls?

Squiggy: Cuz then they'll tell everyone, and then the whole brewery will know. And I'll probably be beat up by at least five guys.

Lenny: Nah

Squiggy: Well, anyways, just don't tell anyone, ok?

Lenny: Alright.

Then Lenny and Squiggy shook hands saying at once, "teamsters, teamsters"

Lenny: gee this is great! Andrew Squiggman and Audrey…. Audrey… Squigg, what's her last name?  
Squiggy: Well it's… uhh... hmm, I don't know! Well I'll ask her when I see her, I'm gonna ask her out to dinner today.

Lenny: And ask her if she's got a friend!  
Squiggy: Ok, I will, a double date will be less awkward.

Then Squiggy went to Audrey's apartment. Audrey was watching "Heckle and Jeckle"

Squiggy paced back and forth in front of her door nervously then finally got the nerve to knock on her door.

Audrey: Who is it?

Squiggy: It's me!  
Audrey: Hey Squiggy, you can come in the door isn't locked.

Squiggy: Hello! You should lock the door; I don't want anything happening to ya!  
Audrey: Awe you're so sweet! Okay, I'll lock it from now on.

Squiggy noticed what Audrey was watching and joined her on the couch.

Squiggy: I love this show!  
Audrey: Me too!

Squiggy: So, I was wondering if you knew a girl that Lenny could go out wit.

Audrey: hmm… In fact I do! Elizabeth Smith, she'd be perfect for Lenny!  
Squiggy: Well, since it's their first date, I was thinking that maybe, you and I could go out wit 'em, so it wouldn't be as awkward, for them.

Audrey: Sure! That'd be great! I'll call her right now. Wait, what time?

Squiggy: Tonight at six, we'll go to Shea Paris.

Audrey called Elizabeth and set up everything.

Squiggy: By the way Audrey, what's your last name?

Audrey: I haven't told you? Huh… well, it's Fonzerelli

Squiggy: wait what?  
Audrey: Fonzerelli

Squiggy: Oh boy!


	3. AYYYEEE!

Squiggy: The date is off.

Audrey looked hurt and confused

Audrey: What? Why?

Squiggy: Cuz if I date you, Fonzie will kill me!  
Audrey: Fonzie? Who's Fonzie?  
But, Squiggy had left her apartment without giving her an answer.

Audrey: *sigh*

During all of this Lenny is in his apartment.

*knock knock*

Lenny: come in!  
It was Laverne, and Shirley.

Laverne and Shirley: Hi Lenny!  
Lenny just smiled.

Laverne: We saw Squiggy kissin a girl yesterday.

Shirley: Yes, after lunch break.

Lenny: Yah so…

Shirley: Who was she?  
Lenny: Didn't you see who she was, I mean if you knew that Squiggy kissed a girl, why don't you know who he kissed?

Laverne: We couldn't see from the angle we were standing at..

Lenny: Well I ain't telling ya.

Laverne: Awe come on Len, please!  
Lenny: No! I promised Squiggy I wouldn't tell nobody!  
Laverne and Shirley walked toward Lenny and began to tickle him.

Lenny laughed A LOT! And within his laughter said

Lenny: Audrey, Audrey, you happy now? Squiggy's gonna kill me…

Laverne and Shirley stopped tickling Lenny

Laverne: Audrey? That pretty girl? I would've never guessed.

Shirley: Why did Squiggy make you promise not to tell anyone?

Laverne: Yah! Including us!

Lenny: Squigg didn't want ya babbling his business all ova the brewery.

Laverne: Awe we wouldn't do that!  
Shirley: No we wouldn't!  
Laverne looked at Shirley and the said in unison "Yah we would"  
Shirley: But don't worry, no one will know.

Laverne: Yah, cross our hearts hope to die stick a needle in our eye!

Lenny: Okay good.

Squiggy enters the room, obviously upset.

Squiggy: Can all present company please leave the room?  
Laverne and Shirley: Sure Squigg.

Laverne and Shirley left, with Lenny following behind.

Squiggy: Not you Len.

Lenny: Oh!

Lenny came next to Squiggy.

Lenny: What's the matter Squigg?  
Squiggy: Her last name!  
Lenny: So… What's so bad about her last name?  
Squiggy: It's Fonzerelli!  
Lenny: Oh…

Squiggy: I can't date her Fonzie will kill me!  
Lenny: Yah I know!  
Just then Audrey barged in the door; then slammed it behind her.

Audrey: HELLO!

Lenny: What's with you?  
*knock knock*

Squiggy: Who is it?  
"AYYEE"

Lenny: Oh, come in Fonz.

Fonzie comes in the room.

Fonzie: Whoa! Who is this? (Referring to Audrey)  
Fonzie puts his arm around Audrey.

Squiggy: Hold it, Fonz, she's mine.

Audrey stepped toward Squiggy.

Audrey: So I'm YOURS now huh?  
Squiggy: YAH MINE!

Then he tipped Audrey and kissed her.


	4. Sorting out Scooter Pies

Squiggy spun her back to a standing position.

Audrey whispered "wow"

Fonzie: What's goin' on here?  
Audrey: Your Fonzie right?  
Fonzie: AYYYEEE!  
Audrey: Of course you are. Fonzie is short for Fonzerelli?  
Fonzie: Correct-a-mundo

Audrey: Squiggy says that he can't date me because if he does you'll kill him; is that true?

Fonzie: No, why would I kill 'em? He can date whom ever he pleases, I don't care.

Audrey: See! (speaking to Squiggy)  
Squiggy: You mean you're not Fonzie's sister? (speaking to Audrey)  
Audrey: Of course not! I'm an only child.

Fonzie: What would make you think she was my sister? (speaking to Squiggy)

Squiggy: Her last name is Fonzerelli too.

Fonzie: Huh, well just to calm your nerves she and I will take a DNA test to make sure, okay?  
Audrey: Okay, are they open now?  
Fonzie: Not normally, but I know a guy.

Audrey: (speaking to Fonzie) Okay we'll go today. (Speaking to Squiggy) But I need to call Elizabeth and tell her that we will have to do the double date thing another time.

Squiggy: Alright

Audrey goes over to the phone and dials Elizabeth's number and explains everything, meanwhile…

Squiggy: (talking to Fonzie) If you make a move on her, I'm gonna total your bike and your face, so don't try anything funny!  
Fonzie looked VERY shocked at Squiggy's out of character comment.

Fonzie: You know, ordinarily I would have beat you up for a statement like that, but I like your spunk, and, I commend you for making sure NO ONE, including me, makes a move on your woman; even if you risk having your face smashed in the pavement. Just don't do it again, ok?  
Squiggy half smiled

Squiggy: Yah, whatever.

Audrey hung up the phone

Audrey: Okay, Fonz, let's go!  
Squiggy: (Speaking to Fonzie) Remember what I said.  
Fonzie: I know, I know, don't worry; The Fonz doesn't take what ain't his, especially chicks.

Then Fonzie and Audrey left.

Squiggy paced back and forth, back and forth, nervously.

Lenny: Don't worry Squigg, she like YOU.

Squiggy: Yah sure…

**ONE HOUR LATE***  
Audrey and Fonzie come back.

Lenny: So what's the result?  
Audrey: We don't know yet, we will get the results in a week.

Squiggy: I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!  
Audrey giggled

Audrey: Oh Squiggy, it's okay; I'll go out with you either way!

Then Audrey kissed Squiggy on the check, and Squiggy sheepishly smiled.

Squiggy: That's what you think

Fonzie: They are going to send the results in the mail. So I'll be back in a week, okay? Whoa!

*** NEXT WEEK***  
The mail came in, and Fonzie, Audrey, Lenny and Squiggy, are in Lenny and Squiggy's Apartment. Audrey grabs the letter containing the results, and nervously opens the letter with a letter opener, and begins reading the letter.

Fonzie: So, what are the results?

Audrey reading: "After careful study of the DNA you have provided us with, we have found that you two are indeed related"  
Fonzie grabs, the letter from Audrey's hands, and she stares blankly into space. Fonzie re-reads what Audrey had just read aloud, and then drops the letter.

Fonzie: Whoa! Everything's gone nutso!

Fonzie the calms himself down and looks at Audrey. Audrey takes in a deep breath then exhales. Then Fonzie and Audrey hug each other.

Fonzie: So now that you're my sister and everything, do you know any girls I can date?  
Audrey: Is that all you're worried about? Besides you don't need ME to find YOU a date, I think you'll do fine without me.

Audrey smiles

Fonzie: Well what else am I supposed to say? And besides I like meeting NEW girls, and there aren't that many on my side of town.  
Audrey: A friend of mine just moved to your part of town, her name is Laurie-Anne. But I better warn you she is not easily impressed.

Fonzie: That's not a problem. Where can I find her?  
Audrey: I don't know exactly where she lives somewhere on Blueberry Rd, I think, but when I heard from her last, she hangs around Arnolds; she'll probably be playing pinball.

Fonzie: She pretty?  
Audrey: Beautiful. Can I date Squiggy?

Fonzie: Whoa! Where did that come from? And NO!

Audrey: WHAT? Well I don't care I'm dating him anyway.

Squiggy: I don't think I'm supposed to be here, I'm gonna go visit the girls.

Lenny: I'll come wit ya.

Lenny and Squiggy leave their apartment

Fonzie: I won't allow you to date him!

Audrey: Why?  
Fonzie: He isn't good enough for you; you should be dating a doctor or a lawyer!

Audrey: But I don't want to date a doctor or lawyer, I want to date a truck driver! Oh, what do you care, you didn't last week.

Fonzie: Last week you were a random girl I didn't know, this week you're my sister!

MEANWHILE AT LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY'S APARTMENT

Shirley (cleaning under the couch): "EWWW! Laverne, there's something hairy, slimy, and greasy!"

Lenny and Squiggy barge in the girl's apartment.

Squiggy: Hello!  
Shirley comes out from under the couch

Laverne: What do you want boys?  
Lenny and Squiggy walk into Laverne and Shirley's apartment.

Lenny: You'll never guess what we just found out!

Shirley: It better be good boys 'cuz were in the middle of cleaning, rather I'M in the middle of cleaning.

Laverne: I'm cleaning!  
Shirley: You are not! You're too busy eating Scooter Pies!

Laverne: How'd you like a Scooter Pie up you're nose?  
Shirley: How are you going to do that? YOU ATE THEM ALL!

The girls begin fighting.

Squiggy: Shut up, shut up, this is more important! Fonzie's got a sister!

Laverne: No way!  
Squiggy: Yes! And guess who it is!  
Shirley: Who?  
Squiggy: Audrey! There's only one problem...

Lenny: He won't let her date Squigg! 


	5. Family Matters

Laverne: He won't let her date you Squigg?  
Squiggy frowned

Squiggy: No!

Laverne: Well I'm gonna go talk to Fonzie about this!  
Shirley grabbed Laverne's arm as she was about to walk out the door.

Shirley: No, don't Vernie, this is a family matter.

Laverne: I guess your right Shirl.

*back at Lenny and Squiggy's apartment*

Audrey: I am thrilled that you care about me so much already, but can you care a little less?

Fonzie: No! All my life I thought I was an only child and that I would never have a family outside my… OUR grandma and even she's not a Fonzerelli. But now there's another Fonzerelli, and I just want to make sure you're happy.

Audrey held both of Fonzie's hands.

Audrey: But I WON'T be happy, if I can't date Squiggy…

Fonzie looked down, and then looked at Audrey. Audrey let go of Fonzie's hands.

Fonzie: Oh, Audrey… I'm soorrrr…

Audrey: You're sorrrrr…? (Mimicking Fonzie, who obviously had trouble saying the word sorry.)

Fonzie composed himself.

Fonzie: Audrey, I'm sorry, I was wrrrr…

Audrey giggled, and then kissed Fonzie on the cheek. And Fonzie looked down shyly

Audrey: That's okay, thanks for being a good brother!

Fonzie: yeah…

Squiggy Bursts through the door.

Squiggy: Am I aloud here?  
Audrey giggled

Audrey: Of course you are, considering it's your apartment.

Squiggy: I just wanted to make sure I wasn't interrupting a family conversation.

Fonzie: Nope, we just finished, see you later Squiggy, Audrey.

Fonzie kissed Audrey on the cheek, and then Audrey smiled.

Squiggy: So what's the result?

Audrey: You're mine!

Audrey tipped Squiggy and kissed him, then spun him back to a standing position.

Squiggy: You and I can't date! NO!  
Squiggy sat on his bed, disappointed.

Audrey laughed, and sat next to him.

Audrey: No, we CAN date!

Squiggy: well, in that case…

Squiggy and Audrey started making out, a few minutes later Lenny walked through the door, and upon seeing Audrey and Squiggy, he bit his palm. And Squiggy and Audrey looked up at him. Audrey got up and went to the door.

Audrey: Good-bye Lenny. Good-bye Squiggy. I will see you tomorrow at work.

Then Audrey left the room.


End file.
